


falling doesn't feel so bad (when i know you've fallen this way too)

by denkis



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 'wear my jacket' trope, First Kiss, Fluff, I wrote an entire fic without mentioning Osamu and I feel kinda bad sorry Osamu, Introspection, M/M, Pining, SakuAtsu, Sakusa pines for Atsumu but don't we all, no beta we die like Sakusa's will to live
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:54:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29149275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/denkis/pseuds/denkis
Summary: It’s home, and Sakusa’s not sure he could reach that level of comfort with another person. But being with Atsumu, walking a few steps apart with the blistering January wind nipping at their faces, he’s starting to think he might want to try.--or; sakusa, atsumu, and adapting your life to fit someone else's
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 14
Kudos: 125





	falling doesn't feel so bad (when i know you've fallen this way too)

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this is my 2nd sakuatsu fic because they're my absolute favourite dynamic.
> 
> this isn't dialogue heavy at all, I kinda got a little carried away with projecting onto sakusa but I hope it's still somewhat enjoyable!
> 
> as always, i live and breathe off comments and kudos, any time anyone leaves me anything it makes my entire day.
> 
> <3<3

The MSBY-provided accommodation’s pros outweigh its cons. 

Sakusa would know this. He’s listed them. 

His room has an en-suite with a good shower; only a few members of the team opt to use the building so there’s not much chance of him bumping into anyone in their shared kitchen; it’s in a nice quiet residential area; there’s a train station only a few minutes’ walk away.

From the few people who chose to use the offered apartments, Sakusa was most put off by the idea of Miya Atsumu being just down the hall at any given moment. At first, it was due to the chaos he assumed it would bring and their entirely conflicting personalities. But, as much as he loathes to admit it, Sakusa was wrong about him.

It appears Miya Atsumu’s chaotic personality is somewhat of a façade. The Atsumu that Sakusa’s become familiar with within the past year is one that leaves his shoes neatly in the genkan, checks with the rest of the members if he’s okay to have guests round, is quiet in the evenings, doesn’t let the dishes soak in the sink in favour of washing them straight away, and shuts the doors as silently as possible when he goes for his morning runs. 

Somehow, watching Atsumu’s daily routine has become part of Sakusa’s own daily routine. He wakes up to hear the quiet click of the doors closing in the morning before he gets up and makes himself a cup of tea. He waits an hour before boiling the kettle again and making Atsumu his own, just in time for him to finish his jog, shower and enter the kitchen with a towel around his neck and a quiet ‘thank you’ on his lips.

He never sticks around to see him finish the tea he made. For some reason that feels a little too intimate. For two people who once vehemently opposed each other on the court during high school nationals, drinking tea together in the early hours of the morning seems absolutely ridiculous. If Komori knew about this strange little agreement, he’d have a field day. When Sakusa had first tried out for the Jackals and had seen Atsumu among its current team, he’d been this close to just leaving and never showing his face in public again. Through practices, real games and team outings Sakusa had reluctantly agreed to, they’d become closer in a way in which he hadn’t experienced with anybody before.

Close enough that they’ve started walking home from practice together. He’s hesitant to label them as ‘friends’, but he supposes there isn’t many other labels to cover two people who mildly enjoy each other’s company and can walk in a silence that isn’t as awkward as it should be. Perhaps rather than friends, he’d explain that they were just comfortable with each other. 

And, maybe Sakusa would like to one day say they’re friends. Perhaps more, if Atsumu ever saw him in that light. But, volleyball comes first. Sakusa is comfortable with Atsumu but volleyball is the closest thing he’s had to a home since he left Itachiyama. Maybe even before that. It’s the most familiar thing he knows, the sting of the ball as he smacks it over the net, the sweat dripping down his back after a tiring game, the feeling of sharing the same passion with five other guys on his side of the net. It’s home, and Sakusa’s not sure he could reach that level of comfort with another person. But being with Atsumu, walking home a few steps apart with the blistering January wind nipping at their faces, he’s starting to think he might want to try.

It’s only when Atsumu yells his name to stop him from very nearly stepping into a busy road that Sakusa notices he’s been completely absorbed in his own thoughts for the past few minutes. 

“Are you okay?” Atsumu asks, arm outstretched as if he went to grab Sakusa’s arm but had second thoughts. Sakusa appreciates the gesture. Atsumu’s definitely picked up on his intense dislike of being touched by anyone without explicit permission, which means a lot to him. Not many people have taken it into consideration before. What Atsumu doesn’t realise, however, is that Sakusa would let a select few people touch him without asking at all. 

“Sorry.” Sakusa replies, a beat too late. “Got distracted.” He’s only noticed since being pulled out from his thoughts that the temperature is much lower than he’d been anticipating this morning before leaving the apartment. He’d only packed a light jacket, whereas Atsumu had come a lot more prepared with an actual coat with a fluffy hood that makes him look impossibly soft. When the wind blows, Sakusa can’t help but shiver a little, mentally calculating how long of a journey they have left to go. 

They’d usually catch the train, but they decided to forgo it today as the morning’s journey had made Sakusa a little too anxious. Atsumu could tell from his hunched shoulders and uncharacteristically stiff stretches at the start of practice. “I don’t want to get the train back tonight,” Atsumu had said, a small smile on his face. “I’d rather walk, if that’s alright with you?” It wasn’t out of pity. It never is. Sakusa’s used to pity from his teammates, the ones who aren’t as sure about him and treat him differently despite their shared profession. He’s used to pity from teachers, classmates and even family members. That’s how he knows that Atsumu’s concerns come from a place of understanding.

He’s absorbed Atsumu’s routines into his life. Atsumu’s taken Sakusa’s habits into his. 

When he shivers for the second time, he’s still thinking so much about the Atsumu-shaped impression in his life that he fails to notice the faux-fur hood coming over his head until he’s nearly got a mouthful of it.

Atsumu’s placed his coat over his shoulders and flipped the hood up before Sakusa can even begin to protest.

“No, you don’t have to-”

“Yer cold. I’m not.” 

“I’m not cold.” Sakusa lies, like a liar, and starts pushing the coat off his shoulders.

In retaliation, Atsumu steps in front of him, still stood on the patch of pavement before the now empty road and does up the top two buttons.

“Just take the coat, Omi.” He says and carries on walking. 

Sakusa tries desperately to slow his heartbeat and gives up when he opts to subtly inhale Atsumu’s familiar scent around the collar. It smells like his washing powder, but also of his vaguely citrus scented shampoo. It’s just a coat, and it shouldn’t be this intoxicating, but he has to force himself to look directly ahead instead of breathing in a combination of scents he hadn’t even realise he’d come to associate with Atsumu. 

Not even a few minutes later, another blast of cold wind hits them and now Atsumu’s the one shivering and Sakusa feels a pang of guilt.

He starts to take the coat off again, at least he’s got a jacket on underneath rather than Atsumu who’s just wearing a long sleeve shirt, but he’s stopped by Atsumu’s freezing hands. 

“Keep it.” 

“Wear your own coat, Miya.” Sakusa tries, but he’s ignored. He huffs and grabs one of Atsumu’s ice-blocks of a hand, tugging him into the nearest side street. It’s dark out, and the rest of the population are sensible enough to have stayed indoors or at least caught public transport, so the street is empty. With this small amount of added confidence, Sakusa unbuttons the coat, pulls Atsumu towards him, thanks the designer mentally for making it so oversized, and wraps the coat entirely around them both. 

Despite this previous confidence, Sakusa didn’t really think his plan through and is now left with a few seconds of his own brain short-circuiting and some waves of sheer gay panic. He’s face-to-face with Atsumu, Sakusa’s two inches of extra height doing nothing to change how their noses are practically touching.

“Uh,” Sakusa says, intelligently.

“Omi?” Atsumu says, and Sakusa sees something like realisation, or perhaps understanding dawn on his face. As if this is the first time he’s noticed that Sakusa doesn’t go out of his way to avoid him like he does everyone else. That Sakusa always, always allows him to touch him on the shoulder after a particularly good play, regardless of how many other people he’s rejected in the same day. That Sakusa is so used to the sound of his footsteps in the hallway that he knows when he’s fine to leave his room and join him in the kitchen. That Sakusa wishes he could sit with him while he finishes the green tea he makes for Atsumu and nobody else, but he doesn’t quite know how to get the words out without making things change.

Change is terrifying to Sakusa. Routines and schedules saturate his life, and consistency keeps him afloat. Watching Atsumu realise Sakusa’s feelings feels like being opened up and picked apart piece by piece, and all he can do is watch as so little happens, yet everything changes. 

And maybe he’s okay with this change, he thinks, as Atsumu seems to get impossibly closer, brushing his fingers softly against Sakusa’s cheekbone.

“Omi, is it alright if I kiss ya?”

Sakusa’s breath catches in his throat, and he gives a tiny nod. A flush spreads across Atsumu’s cheeks, and his lips quirk up into a tiny smile. Until the Jackals – no, until the last few weeks, Sakusa’s always felt so far away from Atsumu. The outgoing, handsome and quietly intelligent member of the team, with his own array of fans and friends alike as Sakusa watches from afar. Over the past few months they’ve been getting closer. From a few miles to only a few feet. But now, Sakusa thinks, this is the closest he’s ever been to Miya Atsumu. When he closes his eyes, his lashes flutter gently against Sakusa’s face. 

Atsumu looks beautiful like this, and it’s a sight he selfishly hopes nobody else ever gets to see.

Sakusa’s the one to close the distance, his eyes slipping closed as their lips brush together. It’s light and chaste, like dipping your toes into the shallow end of the water to test the temperature. 

His hands find their way to Atsumu’s waist, wrapping around his back under the coat and squeezing lightly. With a hint of impatience, Sakusa locks their mouths back together. Atsumu responds instantly, tilting his head a little to make them fit a little more perfectly. Sakusa notes how soft Atsumu’s lips are, despite the cold making them a little chapped. Atsumu presses closer, carding his hand through Sakusa’s hair and playing with his curls. 

Growing up, Sakusa had never once been able to picture himself being this close to one person. The idea of it made him feel a little nauseous, sharing spit and chasing each other’s mouths. 

Sakusa’s the one to push his tongue lightly against Atsumu’s lips, tracing the edges of the other’s tongue as Atsumu lets out a small gasp. 

As an adult, Sakusa can’t picture being this close to anybody else.

**Author's Note:**

> i'd like to think they eventually do get back home, but I didn't wanna drag this out longer than necessary or I would've gone for another few thousand words lmao
> 
> if u liked it pls pop me a comment!! <3 thank you for reading!


End file.
